Want to lead or connect better, then SHUT UP!!

I recon silence is possibly one of THE most powerful ways to engage and lead others.

I mean it!

As leaders we are bombarded. We are overloaded with information, requests, demands and priorities. It impacts us as a recipient but also as the leader we need to be able to cut through as the messenger.

We have to learn to overcome the feast of information and the famine of attention in our teams, organisations and sometimes in our families.

Take a 10 second break right now to think about the feast of information and the famine of attention you face. It's relentless.

Two weeks ago I was in Bali (Indonesia). My wife and I travelled by taxi for 54 minutes from Denpasar airport to our villa in Ubud. The driver talked at us the entire journey about the heritage and history of the island. There was no let up. It was my tenth time in Bali!

I felt depleted. There were no gaps for me to join in. No gaps to think or breath. The words washed over me.

As leaders getting the content of our conversations right is one thing (previous blogs). But enabling the conditions for them to be productive is also important. SILENCE is vital. It’s the processing time in your conversations. Without it, others can’t engage and you can't lead.

Silence is the catalyst for engagement.
Silence in the taxi would have allowed me to think about what he said. It would have let his words land, ruminate and enable me to find common ground, to have meaningful dialogue. Instead, I couldn’t get to know him and he might have left thinking I was quiet and withdrawn (I am neither!)

If you keep talking, others shut down. Not because they don’t want to listen. They aren’t able to. Silence is the catalyst of conversations. It helps others process and participate. Making your conversations productive.

Putting silence in your team meetings, your presentations, your interviews… allows your words to land. It energises conversations, making them more fruitful. And making your leadership way more responsive and engaging.

Plan silence in, don’t leave it to chance. Three tips to help:

- Get comfortable with silence. Take a moment to ensure everyone catches up or contributes.

- Use the time to breath and consider how to ensure everyone benefits.

- Remember it’s not all about you. Check yourself.

...insert silent pause…  :)

Have you ever noticed how a non-stop talker is like an energy vampire? Has this happened to you? Felt relieved when a talker leaves the room or when a meeting ends because there was just too much talk?