Focus on getting better, not looking good

Leadership and communication are both skills that can be learnt. They are not genetic. Thankfully.

Just as well, because as leaders it feels like we are always putting ourselves out there, on show. We are under pressure to deliver the goods when we have those important conversations, board discussions, delivering important presentations or virtual meetings. Naturally we want to come away feeling like we did a good job.

There is so much pressure on leaders to get this right every time. But what I am seeing is that few leaders actually have all this stuff nailed. And that is absolutely OK, because building your communication skills is an ongoing business. Our audiences and channels are constantly changing. Take 2020, for example, we are all at home, trying to engage through our screen. As if engagement wasn’t hard enough already!

"Make me look good"

I was working for a top 20 ASX company, engaging their leaders in a new business strategy. The Director of Operations asked me to make him "look good". It was a natural request given the high stakes event that we had planned. But I had to be honest with him. The only way to look good is to actually BE good. We all know the saying about putting lipstick on a pig, right?

Invest in BEING good, not looking good

I believe everyone can be a great communicator. With the right mindset and commitment we can all build better capability. This enables us to "look good" because we ARE good. When it comes to leading and communicating, your capability is the best investment you can make to enhance your performance. Sexy slides and polished messages don't work.

What drives trust

"Looking good" to me means that a leader is trusted or trustworthy. This is what we are aiming for when seeking employee support, involvement or engagement. Trusted leaders display three elements that build trust (according to Frei and Morriss 2020). They:

1. show their true self (authenticity)

2. show they care (empathy), and

3. show their logic (rationale for decisions).

Collectively they call these the Triangle of Trust. A really useful tool for leaders reflecting on how they can improve or when seeking feedback from others.

Building trust is the cornerstone of my capability bulding programs for leader teams and managers. Succeeding with high capability is real success, not perceived. It is effective, sustainable and legit.

Take the mis-trust test: Have a think about the last time you decided you didn't trust a leader or a business. I recon it was caused by a lack of the above elements. I'd love to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment or mail me at paul@commscoach.org